Comments on: How do you Balance Talkers and Listeners? http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/ Wondering what it looks like to be whole, healthy humans in the actual world Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:12:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Laura http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1112 Laura Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:16:40 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1112 Bruce, As always, your wisdom prevails. "Which ideas landed, which led to confusion, which led to boredom, etc. I can only figure this out when I shut up and really listen to others, not simply compose my next retort while pretending to listen to others. In this sense, the teacher is really a student, just of a different subject." So, the main issue for me is being quite intentional and not letting my tiredness draw me away. I may need prodding... Bruce,

As always, your wisdom prevails.

“Which ideas landed, which led to confusion, which led to boredom, etc. I can only figure this out when I shut up and really listen to others, not simply compose my next retort while pretending to listen to others. In this sense, the teacher is really a student, just of a different subject.”

So, the main issue for me is being quite intentional and not letting my tiredness draw me away. I may need prodding…

]]> By: Bruce http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1107 Bruce Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:50:33 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1107 Quick to listen, slow to speak... As a leader, there are things which are valuable to learn. Namely, how to be an effective leader or teacher. There's where the real value and motivation comes to listen intently, at least for me. In this case, listening carefully to find out where people are, what they are understanding, what they are confused about and how effective, or not, you have been in communication. Put another way, the leader/teacher can learn a great deal about leadership and/or teaching by focusing on the students. Which ideas landed, which led to confusion, which led to boredom, etc. I can only figure this out when I shut up and really listen to others, not simply compose my next retort while pretending to listen to others. In this sense, the teacher is really a student, just of a different subject. Quick to listen, slow to speak… As a leader, there are things which are valuable to learn. Namely, how to be an effective leader or teacher. There’s where the real value and motivation comes to listen intently, at least for me. In this case, listening carefully to find out where people are, what they are understanding, what they are confused about and how effective, or not, you have been in communication. Put another way, the leader/teacher can learn a great deal about leadership and/or teaching by focusing on the students. Which ideas landed, which led to confusion, which led to boredom, etc. I can only figure this out when I shut up and really listen to others, not simply compose my next retort while pretending to listen to others. In this sense, the teacher is really a student, just of a different subject.

]]> By: Laura http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1041 Laura Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:56:53 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1041 Tyde, This is such an important point, for if we are seeking to be wise ones, we must learn to listen well. (I've found that my blathering on gets in the way of proper listening...that's one reason I'm working on talking less :-). Tyde, This is such an important point, for if we are seeking to be wise ones, we must learn to listen well. (I’ve found that my blathering on gets in the way of proper listening…that’s one reason I’m working on talking less :-) .

]]> By: Tyde Tualaso http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1040 Tyde Tualaso Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:45:57 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1040 Proverbs 1: 5 let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance- 6 for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. Proverbs 1:

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance-

6 for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.

]]> By: Laura http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1038 Laura Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:41:00 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1038 "The leader must define whether they’re leading a Bible study or giving a mini-sermon...The individual group members must define their reasons for being there; are they there to learn or to teach?" Well put. I like the clarification of responsibility for all involved: it is not merely up to the leader, but also the members. Last night, we put this into practice and it went well. I will probably write on this a bit later (though someone from the group who reads this blog could comment...hint, hint). “The leader must define whether they’re leading a Bible study or giving a mini-sermon…The individual group members must define their reasons for being there; are they there to learn or to teach?”

Well put. I like the clarification of responsibility for all involved: it is not merely up to the leader, but also the members.

Last night, we put this into practice and it went well. I will probably write on this a bit later (though someone from the group who reads this blog could comment…hint, hint).

]]> By: Mark http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1025 Mark Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:56:20 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1025 I like how the question has been addressed thus far, good stuff. In my mind, it's all about the leader. The leader must define whether they're leading a Bible study or giving a mini-sermon. Understanding that distiction and setting the tone based that will help set the level of the group interaction. The individual group members must define their reasons for being there; are they there to learn or to teach? Each one must learn to be comfortable in both roles (and learn to BE in the role they are currently assigned to). The key for the leader is to recognize that everyone in the group has a very different knowledge-base and the voices/opinions of the beginner are as valueable as those of the expert. In fact, the less one knows the more they should speak out because through their voice they will reveal spiritual or scriptural weak spots...and the expert should serve as them in their growth. Finally, it is up to the leader to speak one-to-one to both the silent-types and the chatty-types to try and get them to "ramp it up" or "tone it down". That's not an easy thing to do. I like how the question has been addressed thus far, good stuff. In my mind, it’s all about the leader. The leader must define whether they’re leading a Bible study or giving a mini-sermon. Understanding that distiction and setting the tone based that will help set the level of the group interaction. The individual group members must define their reasons for being there; are they there to learn or to teach? Each one must learn to be comfortable in both roles (and learn to BE in the role they are currently assigned to). The key for the leader is to recognize that everyone in the group has a very different knowledge-base and the voices/opinions of the beginner are as valueable as those of the expert. In fact, the less one knows the more they should speak out because through their voice they will reveal spiritual or scriptural weak spots…and the expert should serve as them in their growth. Finally, it is up to the leader to speak one-to-one to both the silent-types and the chatty-types to try and get them to “ramp it up” or “tone it down”. That’s not an easy thing to do.

]]> By: Laura http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1018 Laura Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:15:28 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1018 Absolutely. We've rotated leadership in the past, but have become lazy. One of the issues, quite honestly, is my seminary training: whether I desire it or not, in this context, I'm looked at as a leader. I'm okay with that, but would like to share the chair, so to speak. This means diligence on my part (something I've slacked off on) and on their parts (likewise for them). We'll probably talk about this tomorrow night. If so, a reflection/report will show up here Wednesday or Thursday. Absolutely. We’ve rotated leadership in the past, but have become lazy.

One of the issues, quite honestly, is my seminary training: whether I desire it or not, in this context, I’m looked at as a leader. I’m okay with that, but would like to share the chair, so to speak. This means diligence on my part (something I’ve slacked off on) and on their parts (likewise for them).

We’ll probably talk about this tomorrow night. If so, a reflection/report will show up here Wednesday or Thursday.

]]> By: AndrewB http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1016 AndrewB Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:35:12 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1016 Is handing over or rotating the leadership a possibility? Is handing over or rotating the leadership a possibility?

]]> By: Laura http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1015 Laura Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:27:30 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1015 Being I'm both the talker and the leader, the first step appears to be self-control :-) I like the online dialogue idea. I'm thinking texting might also fit in here. Being I’m both the talker and the leader, the first step appears to be self-control :-)

I like the online dialogue idea. I’m thinking texting might also fit in here.

]]> By: chad http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/2009/11/04/how-do-you-balance-talkers-and-listeners/comment-page-1/#comment-1013 chad Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:33:50 +0000 http://www.whointheworldarewe.com/?p=626#comment-1013 Some of the folks that I have see have problems in this sort of a setting really come out online. Perhaps the communal study also having a separate piece (via twitter hashtag or a blog) online might encourage others to contribute. It is also important for the leader to realize these moments, and to pastorally handle the "talkers". Coming from a community that practiced this style of bible study for years, I found that the people start to police themselves, but the leader needs to control things at times. Some of the folks that I have see have problems in this sort of a setting really come out online. Perhaps the communal study also having a separate piece (via twitter hashtag or a blog) online might encourage others to contribute.

It is also important for the leader to realize these moments, and to pastorally handle the “talkers”. Coming from a community that practiced this style of bible study for years, I found that the people start to police themselves, but the leader needs to control things at times.

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